allmydreams's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- where is my mind hello there stranger--it's been awhile. well, i got back from a week in the cayman islands on saturday night...but before i go into that i'll just start with more recent news... today: sick. due to my living conditions in the past week or so (too many girls in one room, too many drinks shared, too many cigarettes, too much alcohol, too many people with bronchitus, not enough nutrition, not enough exercise, not enough sleep, dehydration, infected cuts, mosquito bites, blistering sunburns, airports, etc) my morale, as well as my immune system, has been run down and i've aquired a bitch of a cold...or something. anyway, i didn't go to school today and i feel a bit guilty. it's the first day i've missed all semester but still...it's weird, whenever i'm sick and ask if i can stay home, i always feel like i'm faking it or something...even though i'm not. i just feel guilty. but i really did need some rest. so i spent the day catching some z's, downloading songs by obscure indie bands, watching unsolved mysteries, eating couscous, and harrassing "wesley", a manager at the green hills 16, for a "best of" article for the scene. poor guy. yesterday: went to the lovelace cafe with my family but didn't enjoy myself very much due to the fever induced chills i was experiencing all day and the fact that it took like 2 hours to get a table and get served. beforehand, it took me almost an hour and a half to get ready because my body was in a severe state of disarray. a week's growth of stray hairs orbited my eyebrows, my skin was peeling everywhere, and i couldn't find anything that a. covered up my splotchy burned/tanned chest or b. fit me correctly, since i somehow seem to have lost some weight during this past week. now don't get me wrong, i'm all about losing weight, but why, why, why did i not seem to lose any throughout almost 2 months of strenuous exercise and then manage to lose 5 lbs or so during a week of empty calorie consumption and sitting on my ass? merrr. anyway, so after all that i went and picked up adam, dropped off my spring break pics and returned home happily suprised to find my little bro watching "the adventures of sebastian cole," a movie i've wanted to see for awhile. adam never wanted to rent it when we saw it at blockbuster, but i think he ended up liking it alright. so, after that we just kinda chilled, fed my neighbor's cat ($20 for me woohoo), and went to satco. after that, i took him home, picked up my pictures (interesting), did a half-assed job on my homework and watched the oscars/talked to adam. i was feeling really....drained. it was weird being home yesterday--it was such a nashville day (whatever that is, but you know what i mean). so now i'm on to spring break. i think i can sum it up in a paragraph or two... i spent the first half of the week drunker than my body could handle, which resulted in me throwing up on the third night. i'm not a drinker here at home, and i think i just got ahead of myself with the whole "drink all day, drink all night" mindset that my peers developed due to the fact that in the caymans, 18 makes you legal. so i spent the second half of the week sober all day and mildly buzzed at night...it made for a much more pleasant time. unfortunately, however, the second day of our trip, i got the notion that i wouldn't need to reapply my sunscreen after getting in the water (hey it does say waterproof, damnit) and ended up with seriously painful and blotchy sunburns covering my upper arms and chest....i also forgot to put sunscreen on my hairline and my ears, so they ended up burnt as well. so, i didn't exactly get to sport many tank tops or work on my tan after that....but i ended up ok. unfortunately, at this point, my burns have become dark brown tanned stripes with scaly red areas...goddamnit, it better be gone before prom. sorry for the graphic description but i've never in my life longed to be completely pale again like i'm longing now. besides that, i had a pretty good time. i kind of expected to bond with all the other people there, which didn't happen, but i now realize that would have been kind of unrealistic. i did become better friends with some people, and that's all that really matters. the ones i barely talked to pretty much disgusted me all week with their abuse of freedom and their slutty, drunken behavior. i mean i was shocked...i didn't realize that some of these people were so shallow and devoid of any sort of values or morals whatsoever. some of the best times i had were actually spent alone--laying on the beach listening to guster and being sprayed by the most beautiful ocean i've ever seen, the day we went snorkling and i was feeling so antisocial i barely talked to anyone yet had a really good time seeing the stingrays and listening to the stealing beauty soundtrack when we were sailing back, smoking a cigarette outside our room while the sun was setting...you get the idea. i really missed adam--if he had been there everything would have been perfect. i was really dissapointed in the way that liz conducted herself during the trip. i won't go into it really because it's not fair to her, but she was drunk to the point that she was passing out almost every night and was being kind of, errr, promiscuous. i didn't care at first but things kind of escalated the last two nights and i ended up blowing up at her the last night for being, in my eyes, a completely irresponsible whore. it's strange--me and liz--how we're so different, how we've changed so much, how we've been friends for so long. i spent the first 2 years or so of high school making a lot of bad decisions, and now it seems the roles have been reversed. but it's more than that. i think i used to have a lot more friends than her, at other schools and stuff, but now she's like miss social queen and i'm always feeling so alienated from everyone. that can be broken down into a lot of different reasons, but it's not really the reasons that matter...still, i do think it's cool that we've probably been best friends longer than anyone in my grade. we used to be like the same person, but now we're complete opposites. what else? i discovered that though "clubbing" gets old fast, top 40 music is my guilty pleasure. bob marley is good beach music. some of my friends got arrested for having pot...long story for another time but things ended up alright. i like red wine with italian food. i had fun hanging out with brad and david. we had a really cool security guard named nigel and he was often drunk. shells and cheese and capri suns are tasty. adam came to pick me up at the airport and stayed at my house til 2:30 or so and tucked me in. that was nice. i think that's all. hmmm oops that was a bit more than two paragraphs. wow it took me over an hour to write this....blahblahblah je ne veux pas travailler! 3:17 pm - 2001-03-26 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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