allmydreams's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- deeper than inside welcome to the wonderful world inside my head. i'm confused right now. i went over to bill's house after school today. we watched a bunch of his features...damn, he is really talented. i wish i knew something about filmmaking. the thing i like about bill the best is that whenever i hear him play music, or see his films, or his artwork...whatever...i'm always proud of him. i never saw that when we were dating--i always thought he was a slacker or an underachiever. of course, he is a really smart guy who could probably benefit from a more structured environment...as opposed to hillsboro anyway. it makes me sad when people who could do well in school don't. but when it comes to what he loves, he works harder than most people do. i guess that's what really counts. anyway. i thought it was all pretty cool and i had a good time hanging out with him. we've been talking on the phone a lot more since this weekend which is also cool...because for most of the year we sort of avoided eachother unintentionally...so, it's been fun getting back in touch again over these past couple weeks. i mean, i've been friends with him and and off since seventh grade. hah, i don't really know what i'm getting at. so, i just got online to check my email and he had sent me one...talking about stuff, maybe dating a bit before i leave...stuff i can't handle right now. not from him anyway. it's not completely random, i mean on saturday we talked about it. but i was perhaps getting ahead of myself, as i often do...letting how my heart feels at the time control my head. sometimes it feels good to talk about the past... and what can i say, i'm human. it's nice to know that someone is attracted to me. but if i'm going to be moving on from one ex-boyfriend i certainly don't need to get involved with another ex-boyfriend again. what i really need is some time to be single and some time to spend by myself. ah, summer, i'm counting down the days until you're here. 7:21 pm - 2001-05-01 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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