allmydreams's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- your body is a wonderland hmmm. last night i was definitely stressed out of my mind. around 7:30 i realized i had a paper to write and no clue what i was going to write it on...my computer and printer were being screwy, so i decided to head over to the library. somehow i managed to choose a topic, find five relevant sources of info and churn out not only an outline but also a fair amount of my paper. a little after 10 i was so stir crazy i felt like i was going to explode, so i headed out of there and decided to finish my paper today. mmm college, the land where time is plentiful. so i ran into jose on the way back and walked home with him...and completely forgot i had planned to go to chey ho earlier....so i walked all the way back to campus a little later and hung out with rip a bit.... found out some shit that made me kind of depressed....so he kind of hooked up with this random chick the other night, but before he hooked up with her he told me she was nasty and kind of fat and has a lot of cellulite...anyway somehow the topic of her appearance came up as we were walking into chey ho and he was like, "well i bet if someone took a poll, most guys would think she's hotter than you." ouch...this coming from the dude who has liked me since our freshman year of high school. so i'm like "ummm"...and he's like, "well i don't think you're ugly, but most guys here like girls who closely resemble the blond hoe look. i have weird taste." what the hell? merrr. i'm classifiable as "weird taste"? why did god make me pale and brunette and not skinny? god i swear this place is bad for my self-esteem. the fact that i spent almost the entirity of my summer in places where most of the guys i was surrounded by had a thing for me doesn't help either. not that i want that anymore...i just want one guy, damnit...is that too much to ask? reading elizabeth and james' diary entries about their new kitten makes me yearn for some kind of domestic bliss. it reminded me of how last year adam and i wanted to get a goldfish to be our love child...we never did though...i don't remember why. he had a tank and everything. i kind of wish we did now. but back to the matter at hand. i'm never going to score. hah jk. but seriously it looks like my only hope here is a foreigner not brainwashed by america's media-induced beauty standards...who thinks all americans are hot (heh i've already encountered at least two)....or some guy who just likes me because he thinks i'm cool (too bad that's never gonna happen because i'm always retardedly drunk when i actually do meet people). i guess all my relationships have been spurred from the second one though...friends first type of things and not really initial sexual attraction. the only problem here is that it's so much harder to meet guys. goddd and why do they all have to be young? cafe coco, you've warped me. i'm so lame. i talk about boys way too much. i talk about sex way too much. i talk about my boobs way too much....but it's only because i'm a dumb single girl who is depressed because for the first time in like four years she is remembering what it was like to be in middle school and be invisible to each and every member of the opposite sex. note: i want john mayer. ohmygod come strum your guitar and sing to me! 12:08 pm - 2001-09-26 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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