allmydreams's Diaryland Diary
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you made an educated guess cuz you're an educated girl
i had an hour to kill earlier, because i didn't have to get to my sex class until noon. time to waste on campus seems to inevitably lead me to the trashy magazine section of the bookstore...so even though i've been pretty good about laying off the fashion mags, it was no surprise that today's meandering took me there anyway. i picked up vanity fair not because it caters to a higher IQ class than say, people, but because it had a bunch of teenybopper sluts like mary kate and ashley olsen on the cover. the corresponding article, which was basically about how teens are taking over the world, featured these little stat boxes about each one of the poor fame-warped kids...and it was just depressing as fuck.
first of all, the vast majority of the teen celebs they profiled are approximately my little brother's age...like, sixteen years old. i think that i truly felt old for the first time today. granted i could pretty easily pass for sixteen, and i don't really look much different than i did at that age--but these kids look like they're in their mid-twenties already. what happened to adolescent awkwardness? i wouldn't be surprised if mary kate and ashley hadn't even started their period yet, but they (along with pretty much every other star teen) own like ten million juicy couture velour sweatsuits...except they only wore them two years ago, "when they were still cool." now they're busy being draped in chanel while white trash ten year olds buy their bedding collections at wal-mart. barf.
i spent my seventeenth birthday in manhattan. i was in the midst of an internship with shoshanna and i spent every goddamn day on fashion avenue...but i was just a kid, and the epitome of fashionable for me was a pair of expensive-as-hell theory jeans and a black cashmere turtleneck from saks...both of which are still in my closet. i had these pointy-toed, stiletto-heeled furry boots that i wore through rain and snow, even when my internship forced me to walk like five miles a day (which it did, pretty much every day)...the effort to be en vogue was there, and i even knew the names of obscure, up-and-coming designers, but i was just barely seventeen and i certainly couldn't pull off looking grown up. instead, i probably looked retarded.
a couple months later i was in boston looking at colleges, and i think it was around that time that i just gave up...realized i looked way more stupid trying to look fashionable than when i just wore boring shit from the gap. it was a lot colder there that march than it was in nashville, and i had brought all of my stupid trendy ass ensembles to impress i don't even know who...my aunt and uncle? my cousins? my dad? i don't quite remember why it (the not-caring) happened then, and i know that i occasionally had relapses of cosmo-induced desires to look like i was of legal age to drink, but i guess it resonated again when i moved to colorado. and that, my friends, explains why i'm wearing the same jeans and see-through fruit of the loom undershirt i was wearing yesterday.
i know i'm sort of straying from whatever i was originally talking about, but basically what i'm getting at is that when you're only halfway through high school, you shouldn't look like fucking paris hilton or britney spears. it just seems weird to me that mary kate and ashley (and excuse me for mentioning them so often, but they symbolize everything that is evil and wrong with our culture, so it's an easy shot) never even had to have a gawky phase. it's just fucked up. and i wonder what they'll be like when they really are twenty-five...hell, i wonder what they'll be like when they're even my age. i know that four years isn't so long, but there's something that happens during the end of one's teen years that has constructed a pretty big rift between sixteen and twenty.
man, i didn't even touch on the point of how completely vapid those bitches make the entire teenage girl population look as well. i may not have looked cool when i was that age, but at least i had decent taste in music and i read books. i didn't have time to scour the whole piece, but from the looks of it, none of the celebs they featured had very exciting tastes in well, anything. hmmm...but that's enough ranting for today. i'm going to go start the next book for my lit class now. oh, on a postive note, milkman dan played a song by the forget cassettes this morning. nothing like a little local nashville flava to brighten my day :) yeah, that, and luna rocks my world. oh, and here's the vanity fair cover, just in case i've stirred your curiousity.
1:11 pm - 2003-06-25
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