allmydreams's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- crimson and clover, over and over really, all i can say right now is that i'm tired. but it's not the kind of tired that can be fixed with a nap or a good night's sleep. i just want to crawl into a ball on evan's bed, with his body wrapped around mine. i want to roll over and stick my freezing cold hands in his shirt, and i want to rake my fingers through his chest hair, because that is probably the most comforting feeling ever. oh, and his stomach, soft like mine...it was always warm. i always hated it when he said he was fat; that softness was one of my favorite things. i want to lay there in the dark and be really, really, really happy again. just knowing that everything is alright. * ...and honestly, it doesn't really help that i saw him tonight, and for my own sake avoided any sort of confrontation. it was bad enough just remembering things, to the point that i had to make jared go outside and suck down a cigarette with me. and it especially doesn't help that he called me when i was parking my car and about to walk into my apartment, particularly because i told him i would call him back and now he won't pick up the phone. i can't sleep now, and i am so fucking tired, and i don't know what i am going to do. 12:51 am - 2004-03-15 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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