allmydreams's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- we dance "it's friday, it's friday and maurice has come to party!" man, that takes me back to the good ole days of carpooling and elementry school. anyway. i have worked out another two days in a row. yayayay...now only about 45 days or more until spring break...so i guess i only have to work out 45 more times until then. heh. on wednesday E and i tried to go to aeroboxing...but apparently it doesn't exist on wednesdays...so we explored our "chi" in a very, um, interesting class until we could leave discreetly and find ourselves some nice transporters. yesterday the instructor didn't even show up for aeroboxing, so i was once again forced to torture myself on the machines. one day it will all pay off. right ;) so hmmm what else. i hung out with adam on wednesday after school. i love that boy so much. :) yesterday i didn't have a class last period so i got out early. i had a bunch of crap to do, mainly having to do with getting a new passport for spring break...and since my guitar lesson was canceled, i decided to take a shower before getting my pic taken. well, that was a big waste of time. my picture is still horrible...oh well. then i had to pick up my brother from judo and we went to the post office to get the form but it was closed! so then i rushed home and went to the Y... yesterday was a good day because i had a lot of homework for once. that probably sounds weird but i haven't really had any work to do at night this week and i felt like a slacker. so anyway it was good to feel like i had accomplished something. my english teacher told me he thinks i'll rock the AP exam...that makes me happy. jonathan at the scene wants me to write a music article...that makes me even happier! tonight i'm chillin' with liz and then we're going over to cory's house i think. nothing like a girl's night out. sometimes i feel really separated from my friends from last year. but for some reason things are feeling better since i've been back this week. i was thinking about an entry elise wrote a few days ago...about how 50 percent of things are so good...but the other 50 have never been worse. on one hand, i get really good grades, i've had an awesome boyfriend since the end of the summer, my room is CLEAN (this may not sound like a big deal but it really is), and things really seem to be going my way as far as my interest in writing. i've beat my HARDCORE unmotivated slacker tendancies and it often feels like i've really changed. i feel really proud for doing that... then there is the mikey thing, which was obviously a horrible thing to happen, but of course it made me wake up a bit and realize that this is life i'm living...not dawson's creek. that whole situation is a large part of why i became motivated in the first place. but i am still so sad. i feel like i didn't even know him during the last three months of his life. everyday i remember more things, and in turn miss him more. no more about that though. everyone is sad and everyone has regrets. the weirdest thing is that even though i feel like i have changed, i feel like i have become more myself. but there are a lot of people that i just feel like i can't talk to anymore. and a lot of people tell me i am so different now. but things especially suck with leslie...we were such good friends but now i rarely even talk to her. and i don't really even know why with her...it could be because of something as simple as the fact that i don't see her in the bear lair at school anymore, or something as complex as the fact that mikey was always in a weird way a big part of our friendship...it could be because we both have boyfriends...or maybe i did something...i really don't know. i guess i should talk to her...and i guess i shouldn't write anymore because maybe she reads this. ahhh. well, anyway...i have a class in a minute. sorry about all that rambling. i wonder if anyone even reads this. 12:41 pm - 2001-01-26 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||
|
||||||